My teenage daughter got stuck at the top of an escalator. I failed to realize that she had never taken a ride on one. We took the ride together up just fine, so I went on ahead of her on the way down. When I got to the bottom I looked up to see her doing a form of dance with the top step.
Tap once
Yank foot back
tap…yank…tap….yank….tap….yank
SHE WASN’T BUDGING
A sales clerk came up beside her. Smiling. “You’ve got this.”
More dancing at the top of the escalator. The dancing went on for about 15 minutes.
Several people filed past her. No words said. They just stepped on and chuckled to themselves all the way down.
Then something amazing took place. I stood at the bottom and observed the sales clerk never leave her side. (You may be wondering why I stayed at the bottom. I had my two youngest children with me and I really didn’t want to go up and down the escalator and risk someone getting hurt) I was also struck with the beauty of the moment that was happening at the top of the escalator.
The sales clerk began to coach my child. On flat ground she practiced with her just taking one step.
Several more people filed past. Some laughing and some sneering.
“What on Earth is going on up here?” One lady said with a scowl.
“Oh we are just having a little party,” the sales clerk non nonchalantly responded. As if dancing with the top step of the escalator should be seen as common place.
She never uttered a word that would have made my daughter feel self-conscious about her plight. “Just having a party”.
She continued to stand by my daughter….smiling.
Never belittling or badgering. Just smiling and repeating the affirmation “You’ve Got This.”
She even gave my daughter an alternative route. The elevator. My child was not to be deterred. She wanted to conquer this mountain. The ride down seemed scary, but worth it.
I eventually made it back up to where she was with her siblings in tow. I thanked the sales clerk for her kindness and told my daughter it was decision time. We simply had to go. I told her there was no shame in taking the alternative route. Approaching the elevator my daughter said to me, “Mom, I just have to try one more time.”
Back to the top of her mountain we went.
One deep breath and she took a step.
Smiling the kind of smile that only victory creates, she rode all the way down to the bottom.
I learned several important things about the type of encouragement that actually helps.
- Just stand with someone – several people tried to show her how seemingly easy it was to just take that first step of faith and trust the escalator to carry her safely down. Only one stood with her, giving her the strength to take her own step.
- Be patient- I’m sure the sales clerk had plenty of work to be done. She never once acted like she had something more important to do. She made my daughter feel important.
- Let your words be few – “You’ve got this”. Simple affirmation. No long drawn out explanation about the mechanics of the escalator. No belittling of the very real fear my daughter felt. Just simple affirmation ,that allowed my daughter to create the narrative she needed in her own head, that would lead her feet to take action.
We are all someone in the escalator story.
- The encourager
- The dancer
- The scoffer
- The passer by
We are all currently at the top of the New Year. Someone is dancing at the top unsure of how to take that first step.
Who will you be in their story?
From my stirred heart to yours,
Erica